The Organization of This Book
If You Feel Broken, or Know Someone Who Does
pt. 1 The (Not-So-Basic) Basics
The Clit, the Whole Clit, and Nothing but the Clit
Lips, Both Great and Small
What It Is, Not What It Means
2. The Dual Control Model: Your Sexual Personality
Turn On the Ons, Turn Off the Offs
Different for Girls... Sometimes
Can You Change Your Brain?
3. Context: And the "One Ring" (to Rule Them All) in Your Emotional Brain
Sex, Rats, and Rock `n' Roll
Liking, Wanting, and Learning
"Is Something Wrong with Me?" (Answer: Nope)
4. Emotional Context: Sex in a Monkey Brain
The Stress Response Cycle; Fight, Flight, and Freeze
Broken Culture [→] Broken Stress Response Cycles
When Sex Becomes the Lion
The Science of Falling in Love
Attachment and Sex: The Dark Side
Attachment and Sex: Sex That Advances the Plot
Managing Attachment: Your Feels as a Sleepy Hedgehog
5. Cultural Context: A Sex-Positive Life in a Sex-Negative World
Three Messages You Are Beautiful
Criticizing Yourself = Stress = Reduced Sexual Pleasure
When Somebody "Yucks" Your "Yum"
Maximizing Yum... with Science! Part 1: Self-Compassion
Maximizing Yum... with Science! Part 2: Cognitive Dissonance
Maximizing Yum... with Science! Part 3: Media Nutrition You Do You
6. Arousal: Lubrication Is Not Causation
Measuring and Defining Nonconcordance
All the Same Parts, Organized in Different Ways: "This Is a Restaurant"
Nonconcordance in Other Emotions
Lubrication Error #1: Genital Response = Desire
Lubrication Error #2: Genital Response = Pleasure
Lubrication Error #3: Nonconcordance Is a Problem
"Honey... I'm Nonconcordant!"
7. Desire: Spontaneous, Responsive, and Magnificent
Desire = Pleasure in Context
Good News! It's Probably Not Your Hormones
More Good News! It's Not Monogamy, Either
"Why Can't I Just Take a Pill?"
It Might Be the Chasing Dynamic
pt. 4 Ecstasy For Everybody
8. Orgasm: Pleasure Is the Measure
Nonconcordance Now with Orgasms!
Your Vagina's Okay, Either Way
Impatient Little Monitors
Ecstatic Orgasm: You're a Flock!
How Do You Medicate a Flock?
9. Love What's True: The Ultimate Sex-Positive Context
Why Confidence Is Not Enough
Step 1 Your Feelings Are Always True
The Map and the Terrain: A Tool for Reality Checking
Step 2 The Hard Part (Or, How to "Nonjudging")
Nonjudging 1 "No Good Reason"
Nonjudging 2 Healing Trauma
Nonjudging 5 Mourning the "Shoulds"
Conclusion: You Are the Secret Ingredient
Where to Look for More Answers.
